Rapper Bow Wow a.k.a. Shad Moss and his live in girlfriend Leslie Holden were arrested on Super Bowl Sunday. Both charged with battery and assault. Following the incident, news and social media have been flooded with judgement and ridicule of Bow Wow, allegedly allowing a woman to cause him bodily injury, it was visibly apparent that he bore the brunt of the attack, it was seen all across his face. Two witness stated she was the aggressor.
Domestic violence can happen to a man or woman. Quiet as it’s kept, the perpetrator is not always male, and to the contrary there are volatile females. Anyone who grew up in violence, lived a life of abuse or holds on to deep seated anger and or pain, can rage out at any given moment, he or she can become triggered.
Triggers are anything that sets a person off, such as, reminders of past abuse or traumas. It can be verbal, visual, a place, or person. The root of violence and anger lies just underneath the surface of what has been buried under shallow feelings and not healed.
I was born into dysfunction and violence as a very young child. My father beat my mother. Consciously, I have no memory of it. As I got older, my mother severely beat my dad. Those memories and flashbacks I can never erase from my mind.
Into adulthood and motherhood, I married a man who was manipulative, deceptive, later becoming violent. He was raised that way. He became my trigger, bringing about all the anger and rage I had buried underneath my heart. We began to abuse each other.
So yes, a woman can become violent and be the aggressor with or without being pushed or triggered into it. Unresolved past issues cause destructive behaviors in people period. Stop judging based on gender. An offender is an offender.
I encourage anyone in an abusive relationship to seek the help you need to heal. Hurt people, harm others, otherwise any relationship you seek, stands to repeat the cycle of abuse. Some people lose their sanity, others have lost their life.
National Domestic violence hotline 1800-739-7233 or visit the website at www.thehotline.org.
Sources: CBS news/Entertainment News/Life experiences
Christy Angelette is part of the Generation X generation. She is a mother of three amazing sons and is a southern Queen born and raised in Jackson, Mississippi. She is working on a novel that will highlight mental illness and abuse in multiple forms, as well as civil rights being broken on a mental health level.