Confused Single

MOCA,

I have met several guys lately. It seems like everyone I meet wants to be in a relationship with me, it’s weird. A guy I went on a date with weeks ago hit me out of the blue to tell me he misses me and wants to be serious. The problem is I’m recently single and I feel awkward, even lame, at times when it comes to men. I feel like I don’t know what to do. The things I end up doing make me feel like a dork. I’m just not use to this single life or dating.  How do I weave into this world? What’s considered dating today? How can you tell when someone is genuine? So many questions and no answers, HELP!!!!!!! 

Confused Single, (Los Angeles, CA)

Let me start by saying YOU are not alone!!!! This single life can leave anyone feeling awkward and lame.  My best advice would be NOT to rush into anything. Not sure how long you were in a relationship but there should always be time to get to know the single YOU. The SAME person is actually DIFFERENT as a friend, a girlfriend, a wife, and a co-worker.  You need to understand who you have become since the last time you were single.  Completely understand who you are today.

Determining who you are, is hard, understanding who you are, is even harder, accepting and being comfortable with who you are, is quite difficult but necessary to move forward in the single life. Knowing who you are will guide you in this world of dating and it will ultimately help you determine who is genuine. The hardest part of this whole equation is the definition of dating. It seems to vary by person and the state of society plays a BIG role in the perception of dating.

Wikipedia and myself seem to agree on the definition of ‘dating’ ~ a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.  While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple. So, don’t feel pressured to be in a relationship. Go on a few dates determine if you are compatible with each other. If ever you feel awkward, lame or a dork then he’s probably not for you. One of the most important things in a relationship is being YOU.

Take time to figure YOU out. Then when you meet guys take time to figure them out. It’s not a requirement that YOU must be in a relationship, it’s not written anywhere that being single is a bad thing. It’s better to be single and happy than in a relationship and miserable. I promise that once YOU know who YOU are, the rest won’t be so bad. Again, my best advice is don’t rush in and LIVE OUT LOUD!!!!!

MOCA

This column is designed to doing just what the title says...Living Out Loud. Moca will discuss and give advice about life and everything that comes along with it. She is an ordinary woman with extraordinary insight. I'm very opinionated and I don't hesitate to speak my mind. Now what you read you may not always agree with and that's fine. Agreeing to disagree is healthy dialogue. What I write is not gospel but it is MOCA, Living Out Loud!!! So, I hope you Laugh, Learn, and Live Out Loud through this column. Do you have a question or concern that you want to address to Moca? If so email her at mocasayz@yahoo.com All inquires will be anonymous.